At times, we men are a little slow. Most of the time we don’t know when to shut up or when to walk away from a potential explosive situation. So, with that, I thought I would share some of my experience with the opposite sex on our communication skills. Men, first of all, anytime you’re in an argument or disagreement with a women there are a few key words you need to pay attention to whenever you hear them. I’ve outlined nine of them and what they mean. If you don’t get them the first time and need to re-read them again before you go home take the time to read them again. Remember we are a work in progress.

Nine Deadly Words Used by Women

1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they’re right. You need to shut up and I mean now!

2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you’ve just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4. Go Ahead: Be careful, this is a trap; it’s a dare, it is not permission. Whatever you’re thinking about doing, don’t do it! At this point you may want to ask what she would like to do instead.

5. Loud Sigh: This is actually a word; most of the time it is an non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here, arguing with you about “nothing.” (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6. That’s Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. “That’s okay” means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake. And, trust me guys, you will pay!

7. Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you’re welcome. (I would like to add in a condition here, though. This is true, unless she says “thanks a lot.” That is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say “you’re welcome” – that will bring on a “whatever.” Refer ahead to #8).

8. Whatever: This is a woman’s way of saying, “Just get away from me! You need to stop talking right now!” If you don’t stop talking, this will lead to #1.

9. Don’t worry about it, I got it: Again, another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it for herself. This will later result in the man asking “What’s wrong?” For the woman’s response, refer to #3.

You can see how each statement can lead to another statement, which confuses most men even more, so again I stress, make sure you follow the directions of what you should do next and remember never deviate. You will only dig the hole deeper and deeper.

Remember, if a man is in the woods and he opens his mouth to speak and no one is there to hear him, is he still wrong? YES!